Building a Godly Marriage
Duane Vander Klok
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
1 Corinthians 7:28
A marriage is built over time. Decision by decision, you can either build a healthy marriage or you can allow bad habits to stand in the way of doing things God’s way. The saying goes: practice makes perfect, but often, practice makes permanent. That’s because practicing bad habits only solidifies those bad habits. If you keep practicing poor communication, ineffective methods of problem solving and decision making, things will not get better. But if you and your spouse are intentional and practice living and loving God’s way, you can build a great marriage!
Throughout your marriage, you will inevitably have areas where the two of you are not in agreement. Like driving a car, in order to keep moving in the right direction, you have to steer and course correct every once in a while. The same can be said about marriage – there will be times where a gentle course correction will be needed.
Especially in those times, you will do well to remember Ephesians 5:33 which says: “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Both love and respect are important – and both are necessary in a godly marriage. Men tend to gravitate toward honor in the same way that women tend to gravitate toward love. When a wife knows that she is loved by her husband and when he knows that she respects him, there is also the ability to yield to one another.
Every marriage faces conflicts because the relationship is made of two imperfect people. Jesus asks us to humble ourselves, forgive rather than harbor grudges, and let love and respect guide our decisions. When you keep God and His ways at the center of your relationship, He will show you how you can be part of the solution to every problem that arises!