Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties

Duane Vander Klok

God created us for meaningful relationships, craving love, acceptance, and intimacy. Healthy bonds enrich our lives and align us with His purpose. However, toxic relationships or connections that stray from God’s plan can hinder His blessings, trapping us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The good news? God’s power can break these chains, freeing us and renewing our hearts!

The Nature of Soul Ties

Understanding soul ties, embracing healthy ones, and breaking those that are unhealthy is essential for experiencing the kind of life God intends for you. We know from 1 Thessalonians 5:23 that we are three-part beings. It says, “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Then, in 3 John 1:2, we read, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.” In other words, when our soul (our mind, will and emotions—what we think, what we choose, and what we feel) prospers, it affects the rest of us for our good.

A soul tie can be described as a deep emotional, mental, or spiritual bond between two people. Our soul becomes attached to another person, giving their words and actions the ability to affect our well-being in either positive or negative ways.

Healthy, godly soul ties strengthen us and draw us closer to the Lord. A beautiful example of this can be seen in the relationship between Jonathan and David. 1 Samuel 18:1 tells us that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The tie between the two of them was based on mutual respect, encouragement and God’s purposes.

Destructive Soul Ties

Who you connect with and how you connect with them matters. Perhaps you have heard it said that when God wants to bless you, He brings a person into your life. That is certainly not the only way He blesses us, but it is true. However, the opposite is also true: when Satan, the enemy of your soul, wants to mess with you, he often brings someone into your life. While healthy soul ties make us better, unhealthy or sinful ones lead to confusion, compromise, pain, misery and regret.

One of the most tragic examples of a sinful, ungodly soul tie is found in Judges 16 with Samson and Delilah. Samson, known as the strongest man in history, was anointed by God to deliver Israel from the Philistines. However, he formed a strong attachment to Delilah, who deceived him for personal gain. She relentlessly pressured him to reveal the secret of his strength, and when he finally gave in, his enemies captured him, gouged out his eyes, and enslaved him. If he had been able to make a wise decision, he wouldn’t have been in that situation. Instead, Samson’s ungodly soul tie to Delilah led to his downfall, proving that even the strongest person can be destroyed by the wrong relationship.

Unhealthy soul ties manifest in various ways including emotional torment, confusion, inability to make wise decisions, feelings of worthlessness, or struggling to move forward in life. Sometimes, people remain emotionally tied to past relationships, unable to fully embrace what God has for them now. Others become trapped in relationships that drain their peace and pull them away from God’s purpose. Ungodly soul ties can also lead to cycles of behavior where a person continually finds themselves drawn to relationships that are harmful or abusive. Without recognizing and breaking these ties, spiritual and emotional freedom can remain out of reach.

How Soul Ties Are Formed

A soul tie can be created through any relationship with a deep emotional connection, and especially through sexual intimacy. 1 Corinthians 6:16 warns, “Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For ‘the two,’ He says, ‘shall become one flesh.” Sex is not just physical; it binds souls together—and that is a healthy thing inside of marriage. However, any sexual activity outside of God’s boundaries, opens the door for ungodly soul ties to be formed.

Vows and commitments can also form soul ties. When a person is in a relationship with the wrong person, words like “I will never stop loving you” or “I can’t live without you” can bind their souls together in an unhealthy way. Proverbs 6:2 says, “You are snared by the words of your mouth; you are taken by the words of your mouth.” Even years after a relationship has ended, an unhealthy soul tie can remain, influencing emotions, decisions, and spiritual health.

Breaking Free

God desires that you would be whole and free. Psalm 23:3 declares, “He restores my soul.” No matter how entangled your soul has been, God’s power is available to break every unhealthy connection and completely restore you. However, you cannot fix what you do not confront. And you cannot confront what you don’t identify.

There is no better time than right now to be set free! Here are some biblical steps to take:

1. Decide to please God more than anyone else. Freedom begins with a choice. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” If you have identified any negative soul ties that are still affecting you today, prioritize God’s will above everything else. You must want to be free or you will not get free and stay free. Do not justify a wrong soul tie. “You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You’re out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it! The good, the right, the true—these are the actions appropriate for daylight hours. Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it.” Ephesians 5:8-10 MSG

2. Cut Off Every Connection. Unhealthy ties remain strong when there is still a point of contact. Romans 13:14 says, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Keeping doors open to the past will only delay your healing. Don’t drive by their house or workplace, throw out any memorabilia, delete them from your social media. Do whatever it takes to move forward in freedom.

3. Take Every Thought Captive. The enemy will try to stir up old emotions and memories, but 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 instructs us to cast down every thought that contradicts God’s truth. If old emotions resurface, redirect your heart toward God’s promises. “Therefore submit yourself to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”

4. Renounce and Break the Soul Tie in Jesus’ Name. Speak aloud and declare your freedom: “In Jesus’ name, I break every ungodly soul tie formed between me and [name]. I cancel every word, vow, and emotional bond that has kept me bound. I take back everything the enemy has stolen, and I declare that I am free in Jesus’ name!”

Walk in Wholeness and Freedom

God did not create you to live bound by past relationships, shame, or regret. He wants your soul to prosper. As you break free from negative soul ties, you open yourself to God’s best: healthy relationships, renewed peace, and clarity of purpose.
Your best days are not behind you. The enemy wants you to believe that what happened in your past defines your future, but Proverbs 4:18 declares, “But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” Keep moving forward. God is leading you into greater freedom, wholeness, and purpose. You are not bound by your past—you are free in Christ!

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